So many things I thought I knew but really had no understanding of before becoming a mum. Below are 3 of my "aha" moments in life...
In the last year and a bit I've learn more about my self than I have in my whole 28 years of existence. Becoming a mum has really shifted my perspective on life, myself and well, just about everything!! I now feel I'm a stronger, more confident woman and I put it down to having "mum" like awakening.
Ok all sounds cheesy but I swear, becoming a mum for me has been the biggest blessing, not only because of the obvious gift of a baby but because I now appreciate me, myself and I so much more than I ever did before.
By sharing these few learnings I hope you may too relate, learn something, be inspired or just enjoy the read... I know majority of us mums just love to feel like we are "normal", know that we all experiencing the same challenges and that we arn't on our own. So please enjoy my 3 learnings - "3 Things I Discovered Since Becoming A Mum"...
No 1. WHAT "BUSY" REALLY IS.
Before becoming mothers we don't really understand "time". Most of us get up, have breakfast, get to a coffee shop for our daily caffeine intake, make it to work or our home office think we are BUSY all day, then we clock off (about 5ish), cook dinner and enjoy some Netflix before bed.
Not sure about you but this was my life and I THOUGHT I WAS BUSY!
I thought I had a lot on my plate, building multiple businesses (not overly successfully) and barely had time to fit in gym... Well fast forward a year and a half, I now realise I was NOT BUSY it was just my state of mind!
I had time for me, I had time for my relationship and I had time for gym, it just obviously wasn't my priority.
Since having a baby I have realised its not about the TIME per say, it's about priorities. When we become mum, our priorities change, where we put our focus changes and therefore the TIME we have left is precious and gets put to better use. Since becoming a mum I honestly believe I have more time, because I am choosing more wisely where to put it.
If you are reading this and are not yet a mum, don't worry, this still can apply to you...
Instead of thinking or saying you are "busy" as I did, think you active and choosing where to focus your time. It will make you much more productive and give you a better sense of satisfaction.
"Busy" for some reason has a very negative feel about it, I suggest changing it up and using words like "productive" or "prioritising", these are much more positive and you will feel as if you are moving forward when you use them.
I know you hear people, coaches, mentors talk of this however for me the penny didn't drop until I became a mum. The realisation actually happened when I DIDN'T HAVE TIME anymore, prioritising and taking action when I can has become the way I make stuff happen.
No 2. KINDNESS IS KEY.
For as long as I can remember I have been a perfectionist. Someone who likes to be in control, organised and all over it! Everything always has to look beautiful, clean, tidy and well AMAZING! There was no room for error OR being wrong. Criticism was awful and I would beat myself up pretty badly (with my mind) if I ever messed up.
Fast forward a year and I am no longer so harsh on myself. Firstly I have realised it is a complete a waste of energy (being a mum there isn't enough energy for that) and secondly it doesn't make you a better person or better at anything by having to be "right" or "perfect".
"Perfect" is just an opinion. For me my perfectionism came from constantly comparing myself to others and not thinking I was good enough or worthy enough of having or producing the best. Being a Graphic Designer I was always worried I wasn't creating the best designs or I didn't "look" the part. At the end of the day I created my best work and that should have been enough.
Becoming a mum has made me realise that kindness is the key. Each day you are faced with many new obstacles, maybe your child is sick so you can't finish that project or fold that washing. Maybe he is teething and you can't make that call. Or maybe you are just exhausted and can't clean the floor, IT'S OK! Be kind and it will get done and to the best of your ability. As long as you do your best, you are doing it right!
No 3. GRATITUDE
This word gets thrown around a lot these days. "Practise gratitude" so many people say and guess what... it's for good reason.
Before having a child I often took things for granted, money, time, flexibility, work. It was all there for the taking and I did, I took. Since having a baby I have realised the importance of being grateful for all the things we do have. Children help you to understand the meaning of love, fun, happiness and honesty. Babies are not conditioned and are humans in our purest form. Then love unconditionally, they laugh when something is funny and they are grateful to their parents for milk, food and comfort. We can really learn a lot from them.
So being grateful for the things we do have instead of the things we don't will help to fill up your cup and make more of what you do appreciate come into your life.
All in all I feel I'm now a better person. If any of you know me, personal growth, pushing my boundaries and learning about life are my absolute favourite things, so becoming a mum has absolutely been a blessing.
I'm hoping there are a number of you out there who can relate and take something away for this. They are slight shifts in thinking but they really do make all the difference.
Love and enjoy,